Queen Cytherea

Meet Cytherea. Queen Cytherea.

To my ill-informed brethrens, she is THE Queen because she looks damn good doing this....

AND, she can do this.....can you? She IS the Niagara Falls of Female Orgasms! You can't fake that ladies and gentlemen.

There have been pretenders to the throne like the wannabe below...but Queen Cytherea rules!! Long live the Queen. She even has her own fan club. Queen C: 1, Queen E: 0

What is female ejaculation? Well, it's piss. Some girls can induce piss when they have orgasms. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a Malaysian species that can orgasm AND voluntarily piss. Have you?

But, this I have done. If you finger a girl by hooking your fingers and thereby rubbing her g-spot, she WILL quiver and let out a bed shattering orgasm. (I assume I don't have to teach you foreplay before fingering her.) What's more interesting, she may also leak. WARNING: She will have the leaking sensation even after sex - which may be discomforting to her.

So, guys, be sensitive ok? Do it once for kicks, but have a heart.

Back to Queen Cytherea and me. After a long day slogging in the office getting my backside screwed by the boss, this is what I want to come home to:

ME: Honey, I'm home.

QC: Come here baby, I have been sitting here like this waiting for you the whole day. I already had to change the bed sheet twice because I keep wetting myself thinking about you and you big little bird......ahh

ME: Sorry, hon, you know my boss, he is such a mother fucker. Keeping me late

QC: Well baby, I'm gonna make you forget everything. Especially the mother fucker.

ME: Oh yeah?

QC: Yeah baby, you are always in my heart. Now, I want you in my titties.

ME: Sweet.

5 minutes later........

QC: Give it to me!! Give it to me!!!

Final thoughts before I blank out: God, I thank You. No, seriously, thank you for a fucking life.

By the way, if you are lucky enough to meet QC.........DO NOT, I repeat - DO NOT be like the mother-fucker in the green T-shirt. He has QC all to himself, and where he touch her? The small of her back!! The small of her back???!!!! And her leg? Dammit, I do that to everygirl at Zouk all the time!!

Jesus Christ! WHAT ABOUT THAT ASS, MAN!!! That ass. LOSER "L".

PS: Sorry about the formatting guys. I'm just a fucking expert, no IT expert. Not sure what the fuck is wrong with the formatting on blogspot today.......

Much Ado Over Size

If she says size doesn't matter - she is just being polite. It does.

Jap men probably have the smallest equiptment. I have always wondered why Jap women scream and moan when they get screwed by a tiny little ku-ku-chiao. Can feel anything meh?

Asian men (other than Japs) are generaly thin and about 5-inches. When erect of course.

Whites are probably an inch longer in average. But there are tiny whites and big asians too. So girls, don't think dating orang putih will definitely get you the real deal.

The champion equiptment is usually carried by the blacks. Respect man.

Now, you may think there is nothing you can do about your size. Wrong. Here are a few tips.

1. The erectness (size/length) of your equiptment depends on the stimulant. Blow jobs typically encourages the "biggest" erection in super fast time. But a blow job with teeth will guarantee to deflate it (girls...hint hint).

2. If you want to have an erection that impresses the girl, refrain from sex for 48 hours before you bonk her. Frequent sex will make your erection less "imposing". For me, I find the frequency of sex every 2 days gives the maximum size/length/"power"! But try not to go too long without sex. Cos, 3 months without sex isn't really going to double the size. You will probably just end up cuming in 3 seconds. Finitto before you can say "evel kenival".

3. Viagra will give you a harder erection. Confirm. But it also gives you a heart-attack. Some Chinese pills give you a 72-hour super large erection. (No la dumbass, you don't have an erection for the whole of 72 hours. It's just that you get aroused very easily and able to maintain your erection longer during that period. Understand? Don't ask that question again)

4. Alcohol impaires your size. So, if tonight is the night you get to bang her...do not...I repeat...DO NOT drink and fuck.

5. Finally, shave your pubes if you want to "appear" larger than you really are. Leave no stuble. You are a bastard if you leave a stuble in your pubes. Try rubbing your balls on a moustache.

Enough of tips....

Here are some samples of the equiptment that God has endowed to men.

POOR LITTLE FELLAS











SO-SO. AVERAGE












RES-PECT. WICKED











Last words: Guys, treat your girl right with your equipment. If you do, she will keep it close to where her heart is. (that's right..between her titties)













NICE.

Oral Sex & Me

I think Oral Sex is an essential part of life, especially for a man. Without it, what the hack do you do during THAT week of the month? Jerking off to Newman Magazine?

Oral sex is good. Good oral sex is great. Great oral sex is priceless.

And if she swallows too, welcome to Heaven! I have only ever been with 3 girls that swallows. Make that 2. The 3rd dropped out after she got wiser (I should have cut down on the brocolli).

A girl that enjoys giving blow jobs and swallows is very rare. She is like the ultimate sex machine. I have had my balls sucked dry while driving down Federal Highway. No fuss, she sucks, slurps and swallows everything. 5 minutes of bliss without the cleaning up afterwards. No condoms required.

It's what I call the 7/11 sex. Anytime, anyplace, anyhow.

I have also had my balls sucked dry under a staircase at Sri Hartamas. I have also had my balls sucked dry in Curve's toilet. I have also had my balls sucked dry on Batu Feringgi beach.

I always wonder - how come most girls avoid cum like nuclear acid while some (too few) enjoys cum. Girls, can you enlighten me? Is it a DNA thing? Or just society at play again? Come on, how can cum be "dirty" when it's so white?









Alright, enough on blow jobs. You may ask - if I ever return the favour? I certainly do.

I define a girl's fuckability by "measuring" my desire to give her the licking of her life. The more I want to go down on her, the more I find her "fuckable".

Don't believe me? Well, look at the 3 girls below:-

Girl A. I will not let my tongue go anywhere near her...let alone fuck her. Get that mama off me man!










Girl B, maybe, maybe not.





Girl C, I will ravage her with my tongue and blow her mind all night long. Wouldn't you?







Giving a girl great oral sex is as much a science as it is an art. Perhaps a topic for another time.

All said and done, are you an oral lover like me?

First Times

As this is my first entry, allow me to share with you some other firsts.

1. My first gf and I were both 13 when we dated. And we were together for 5 years. We did not have sex. In fact, I didn't even get to see her tits, let alone naked. Loser huh?

2. The first time a girl touched my cock was when I was 19, with my 3rd gf. Both were first timers. Staying together made it easy. We dated for 3 months and there were lots of kissing and petting, with clothes on. I remember wetting my underwear with pre-cum everytime we were at it.

One day, I just couldn't resist - as we are making out, I guided her wandering hand under my pants. Lo and behold, she jerked me to my first non-selfmasturbation orgasm. Actually, I was kinda guilty over it. Thank God she was chill.

3. The first time I had sex was also with my 3rd gf. We were by then full-on into petting, jerking offs, licking and oral sex. Damn, who ever said pussys were flowing with sweet juices. Damn those erotic novel writers - giving me the wrong expectation when I first dived into my gf's pussy. It's actually rather salty. I would be lying if I said it's the most "delicious" thing to lick. But listening to her moan and groan was well worth it!


The first sex happened when my gf decided to use my cock like a dildo. But after 3 to 4 times of masturbating using my cock, she had it cuming. I mean, imagine that my hard and wet cock was literally fucking her clit, next to her pussy. Rubbing her pussy, her clit. In a moment of extreme horniness, she arched her back and sliped my cock into her.

And just like that, we were both virgins no more.

No, she didn't experience a searing pain. How did it go? Well, it was hot but nothing spectacular. Our bodies were not really well co-ordinated. No techniques to speak of. Just the missionary position. Just raw virgin passion. I think it was over for both within...5 minutes? (I had other virgins since then, but that's another story).

After the first sex, we fucked at every opportunity. Without condoms! We favoured the "withdrawal method". As we got more "sophisticated" - we calculated the "safe days" of the month. But yeah, we were fucking all the time. Up to 4 times a day. Aahh.....bliss. And we got good at it. Well, practice makes perfect.

How about you guys and girls? How many times did you fuck a day when you first discovered sex?